来源:新航道深圳学校 浏览: 发布日期:2021-05-13 17:22:00
首页拿以下这个题目举例:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The main role of a university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.
我们一起来看我的一位独立写作已经拿到good这个分数的学生写的一个主体段。这位学生选择的立场是教授应该要更侧重做研究,他写的第一点是论证教授做研究对他们自己带来的好处。
To begin with,fruitful and professional research experience would be thecornerstone for the professors'careers.By that I mean that these research fruits of professors can not only guarantee their personal income,but also help themselves gain applause and praise,and it is a primary source of professor's sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.For example,Professor Zhenning Yang,who is the American Chinese Nobel Prize winner in physics,allocated most of working time to conducting relevant survey.Thanks to his fruit in physics,Nobel committee offered a huge prize of about 1 million dollars to him.What is more,Mr.Yang also established a worldwide fame through his research,and he made himself the most popular teacher all over the world.On the contrary,if he only knew teaching without so much dedication to academic survey,he could not make this marvelous accomplishment and enjoy such a position in his field.
看这位学生写的主体段,我们会发现学生的基础很好,词汇用得很高级,但是高分句式只有屈指可数的一个非限定性定语从句:“Professor Zhenning Yang,who is the American Chinese Nobel Prize winner in physics,allocated most of working time to conducting relevant survey.”其余的句式大部分是简单句,这也是独立写作不能拿到28分左右的问题所在。那么我们来看一看能不能变下魔术,把简单句变成拿高分的复杂句。
1.首先,“By that I mean that these research fruits of professors can not only guarantee their personal income,but also help themselves gain applause and praise,and it is a primary source of professor's sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.”句中的“and it is”此处可以改成非限制性定语从句,我们可以改成用“which”代替逗号前面整个句子,整句就变成By that I mean that these research fruits of professors can not only guarantee their personal income,but also help themselves gain applause and praise,which is a primary source of professor's sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.以后的写作中,凡是指代前面的整句话引出结果的时候,我们都可以运用非限制性定语从句。
2.Professor Zhenning Yang,who is the American Chinese Nobel Prize winner in physics,allocated most of working time to conducting relevant survey.”,中的“who is the American Chinese Nobel Prize winner in physics,”可以改成同位语,同位语也是做解释或者补充说明的作用,非常简单,只需要把“who is”划掉就可以了,于是整句变为Professor Zhenning Yang,the American Chinese Nobel Prize winner in physics,allocated most of working time to conducting relevant survey.同位语一般可以放在举例时引出的人名、地名和物名的后面,起解释或补充之作用。学会之后,以后举例的时候就可以运用同位语了。
3.再次,“What is more,Mr.Yang also established a worldwide fame through his research,and he made himself the most popular teacher all over the world.”句子的“and he made”处,因为前面两个单句的主语是一样的,可以改成分词引导的从句,整句就变成What is more,Mr.Yang also established a worldwide fame through his research,making himself the most popular teacher all over the world.以后的写作凡是这样两个主语一样的单句,都可以运用分词引导的从句。
4.最后,“On the contrary,if he only knew teaching without so much dedication to academic survey,he could not make this marvelous accomplishment and enjoy such a position in his field.”这个句子可以改成虚拟语气就高级了,因为前面的例子用的是过去时,所以就改成对过去行为的虚拟语气,只需要在时态上做下微调即可,即On the contrary,if he had only known teaching without so much dedication to academic survey,he could not have made this marvelous accomplishment and enjoyed such a position in his field.以后的写作,凡是有这种对比论证的,我们都可以运用虚拟语气。
现在我们再看一看改好的主体段:
To begin with,fruitful and professional research experiences would be the cornerstone for the professors'careers.By that I mean that these research fruits of professors can not only guarantee their personal income,but also help themselves gain applause and praise,which is a primary source of professor's sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.For example,Professor Zhenning Yang,the American Chinese Nobel Prize winner in physics,allocated most of working time to conducting relevant survey.Thanks to his fruit in physics,Nobel committee offered a huge prize of about 1million dollars to him.What is more,Mr.Yang also established a worldwide fame through his research,making himself the most popular teacher all over the world.On the contrary,if he had only known teaching without so much dedication to academic survey,he could not have made this marvelous accomplishment and enjoyed such a position in his field.
如此,此主体段就有四处不一样的高分句式了,既体现了高级性又展示了多样性,再加上好的词汇表达,定能拿到写作高分。同学们要在写作中多用上高分句式,比如:非限制性定语从句,同位语,分词引导的从句和虚拟语气。这几个句式在托福写作中的运用是十分频繁的,希望同学们能学以致用,拿到理想的成绩。