科学帮你的托福写作内容瘦瘦身

建议一： 空洞且累赘的词汇需要去除

1.有时候某些词汇和词组并没有必要出现在句子中，不能够点明信息和句子主题，其实我们可以直接去掉的。我们来举个例子看一下：

When all things are considered，young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents，in my opinion.

我们发现“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都是显得可有可无的东西。可以直接删掉。变成：

Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents.

2. 一些繁琐且空洞的表达方式也是不可以不用的，看下面一段话

Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents，they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time.

这里的“due to the fact that”就是一个很繁琐的表达方式，那么我们可以将句子改成更为简洁的表达方式：

Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents，they did not have the options that young people have now.

建议二： 避免重复

1. 不要在写作的过程中反复出现同一词汇，包括同义词反复出现，如果有，看看我们是如何美容动刀的。比方说下面的句子：

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size.

large 对一个farm来说就是size方面的large，所以in size可以去掉，改为：

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large.

极简的方式可以改成：

My grandfather grew up on a large farm.

2.有些词组甚至可以用单词来代替，例如：

My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents’ farm.

这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly，我们去掉臃肿的词组就可以变成：

My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents’ farm.

建议三：语法结构很重要

合适的语法结构对于表达来说是非常有利的，合适的语法结构可以是句子看起来更为一目了然、简洁。合适的语法结构为写作要点，但是结构复杂性也是比较需要的，但是必须达到表达顺畅的效果。在这里我们给大家精心准备了几个不错的语法结构，希望能够帮到同学们的托福写作考试：

1. 一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如：

The situation that resulted in my grandfather’s not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm.

我们从以上句子得到表达的核心点“grandfather’s not being able to study”，我们去表达这个概论的时候，原句用的主语是situation，谓语动词是was，不能强调需要表达的重点概念，那么最完美的更改就如下：

My grandfather couldn’t study engineering because his father needed help on the farm.

2. 切勿“there be”结构使用过多，比方说如下句子：

There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather.

我们可以简化为：My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day.

极简的改法就是：

My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily.

3. 把从句改为短语或单词。例如：

Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote.

更为简洁的表达就可以改为：

The dairy farm was located in a remote area，100 kilometers to the nearest university.

4. 仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候，才使用被动语态。例如：

In the fall，not only did the cows have to be milked，but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather’s family.

这个句子优化的点就在“忙碌的家庭——my grandfather’s family”，而使用了被动语态后，仿佛重心变成了cows和hay。我们用主语时态进行表达，那么更为简洁：

In the fall，my grandfather’s family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay.

5. 精确的词汇比词组更为好用，就像下面这句话：

My grandfather didn’t have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends.

Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达，即loiter：

My grandfather didn’t have time to loiter with his school friends.

6. 有时候两句话表达出来的东西，可以精炼组合成一句话，就比方说：

Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree.

重要信息合并成下面这个句子：

Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses，let alone pay for a university degree.

使用长句没有错，但是需要合理。在我们写句子的时候，很多同学都是分数突破不上去，大部分都是因为句子太臃肿了，有很多没有用的地方！不要总是追求满篇的长句，过于复杂的话你自己都hold不住，也会非常影响分数！以上就是句子瘦身的方式，希望对各位考生的托福写作考试有所帮助！更多雅思、托福、SAT等精彩内容请关注深圳新航道学校！